Episode 63
Managing your money is an important part of your life, especially when you’re considering joining your life and finances to another person. We’re in a 3-part series on managing your money through the seasons of dating, pre-marriage (engagement), and marriage. On this third and last episode we’ll share some keys to having long-term financial success in your life and marriage.


SHOW NOTES

 

INCOME STATISTICS 

Median Net Worth in 2010 according to the census bureau for 55-64

  • $261,405 - Married Couples

  • $71,428 - Single Male

  • $39,043 - Single Female

 

Brookings whittled down a lot of analysis into three simple rules. You can avoid poverty by:

  1. Graduating from high school.

  2. Waiting to get married until after 21 and do not have children till after being married.

  3. Having a full-time job.

If you do all those three things, your chance of falling into poverty is just 2 percent. Meanwhile, you’ll have a 74 percent chance of being in the middle class.

60% of couples in marriage counseling identify money as a major problem in their relationship.

 

Money causes:

  • Fights

  • Tears

  • Anger

  • Un-forgiveness

  • Disunity

“In any relationship you have to cross certain bridges, if the relationship is strong enough then you can cross that bridge without fear of the weight of the conversation”

 

First Year of Marriage and Beyond    

  • Combining bank accounts.

  • Setting up life insurance.

  • Finding long-term careers and work/life balance.

  • Start setting goals.

    • Home buying

    • Car replacement

    • Masters degree

    • Baby savings

    • Overseas vacation savings

    • Retirement savings

    • Estate planning

 

Dating life is different than married life. When dating it’s very social with many friends and many nights out on dates. Married life is more home life with date nights sprinkled in. 

Socially you step into a new season, go from single friends to married friends, different peers and new influences that come with new peers. Be aware of who you’re letting into your life.

 

Lemming Mentality.

  •  Pressure to buy a home.

  • Pressure to excel to a lifestyle that is the same and even better than your parents in the first couple years.

    • Furnishing

    • Farmhouse style | Modern | Posh | Personalized

 

How do you overcome this pressure? First, you start with a team mentality.

 

Team Home

  1. Doesn’t look at other teams.

    • We’re going to play our game and focus on what we are doing.

  2. Cares more about the team than the individual.

  3. Doesn’t beat up a player who makes a mistake (shaming).

    • Feels good in the moment, but it would cost the team the overall victory and dissolve the internal trust.

  4. Meets frequently.

  5. Keeps their eye on the prize.

 

The best way to overcome peer pressure is to always go back to your values.

 

What do you value?

·       Family | Church | Giving | Debt-free living

 

Values List:

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If we follow out these values, what do we want our lives to look like 10 years from now?

 

Majors Dangers to Watch Out For in Marriage:

  1. Disrespect of your spouse’s input in the finances

  2. Dominance in Money / Making Decisions

    • My money mentality

    • Feeling your spouse is out of control

    • Disagreement on financial decisions, priorities, and values

  3. Absence of Budget and Long-Range Goals

    •  Advantages of a budget

      • Financial decisions in advance with facts, which removes emotion

      • Forces you to discuss and agree on values priorities and personal preferences.

      • Provides a basis for accountability and builds trust

      • Conflict is more manageable when you’ve done it in a more proactive way than a reactive way. Removes the blame game.

  4. Debt

    • Ways to Avoid Damaging Debt

      •  Borrow for appreciable assets only

      • Save money and live within your means

      • Downsize if necessary to pay off debt

Eccl 4:9-10 NKJV “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward

for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him

who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.”

 

Unity is key. Pronouns matter. The two become one flesh. This happens spiritually right away with marriage, but it doesn’t happen physically right away.

  

RESOURCES

Budgeting and Debt Elimination Tools

Jesus on Money by David Thompson - stewardshippastors.com