GMR 61: Dating, Pre-Marriage, and Money
Episode 61
Managing your money is an important part of your life, especially when you’re considering joining your life and finances to another person. We’re beginning a 3-part series on managing your money through the seasons of dating, pre-marriage (engagement), and marriage. On this first episode we’ll discuss dating and pre-marriage and the money issues that are synonyms with this stage of your relationship. More importantly, we’ll share some ways you can begin working together and build a foundation of trust.
SHOW NOTES
Income Statistics
Median Net Worth in 2010 according to the census bureau for 55-64
$261,405 - Married Couples
$71,428 - Single Male
$39,043 - Single Female
Brookings whittled down a lot of analysis into three simple rules. You can avoid poverty by:
Graduating from high school.
Waiting to get married until after 21 and do not have children till after being married.
Having a full-time job.
If you do all those three things, your chance of falling into poverty is just 2 percent. Meanwhile, you’ll have a 74 percent chance of being in the middle class.
60% of couples in marriage counseling identify money as a major problem in their relationship.
Money causes:
Fights
Tears
Anger
Un-forgiveness
Disunity
Winning Over Your Mate, While Dating
Have honest and open conversation about money after you establish a certain level of trust
Could be a real shock when the person you’re dating finds out you’re not who they think you are.
Could be an even bigger shock if the other person was using debt to fund all the gifts and spending during dating, which you now have to deal with as a couple.
Have to discuss money in advance, so that the expectations aren’t impossible leading into marriage.
Does the guy pay for everything or is it more equal?
David story of $40 date night envelope while dating.
When in the relationship should you start talking about these things?
Definitely have to talk about them before you propose.
Need to understand the other person's financial situation.
“In any relationship you have to cross certain bridges, if the relationship is strong enough then you can cross that bridge without fear of the weight of the conversation”
Questions to Discuss As a Couple:
What memories do you have of your parents handling money?
Describe the temperament or personality of your future spouse and how this influences their money habits.
Have you seen your partner’s credit score and discussed what it means?
Free Score - CreditKarma.com (or any other free resource)
Free Report - AnnualCreditReport.com (only government approved free site)
Do you have savings? How much? What are you saving for?
Which of you live on a written spending plan? Share it.
What debts does each bring into the marriage and what should be repaid first, second, and so on?
Do you plan to accrue more debt before marriage? How much?
Resources
Budgeting and Debt Elimination Tools
Jesus on Money by David Thompson - stewardshippastors.com